For our Children

When it comes to bringing up children, love is not enough.

Love is a big word.  It represents emotions, the will, and actions.

It is easy to love little children, in the emotional sense.  They are cute, pure and vulnerable, invoking a surge of protective instincts (in most people).  Beyond that, things get a bit more complicated.

When they have just been born, we see our children as little replicas of ourselves.  Somehow, we feel that we ‘own’ them.  They are completely reliant on us, their parents and family, for survival and happiness, and are generally compliant.

As they grow older, they start to differ from us in their opinions and decisions (“No, mummy, play is fun, milk is not. I want to play, I do not want to drink my milk”).  As parents, we continue to love them in our will and actions – we choose to continue to provide them food and shelter and even occasional treats, although sometimes we feel we should perhaps kick the ungrateful brat out of the door!  The older our children grow, however, our differences become more stark, and the tension between the emotional love we have for our children and our expectations of them become greater.

Love, at some point, then becomes more of one based on will and actions, than emotions.

But when I say ‘Love is not enough’, that is not what I mean.  What I mean is that we need to learn how to teach and train our children so that they can fulfill their destiny.

I believe that ingrained in each child – in his heart and the depths of his being – is a dream.  This dream is that which the child desires to do, for it gives meaning to his life.  This is commonly known as an ambition – ‘what you want to be when you grow up’.  But it is more than a job or a position – it is the ultimate amalgamation of his talent and interest. It may not make him rich or famous, but it is his contribution to the world and it is what makes him feel special.  The parent’s role, is to help the child discover his destiny, and reach it.  To do this, a parent needs more than love him, whether emotionally or as a decision of the will.

First, the parent needs to accept the child’s destiny, because his dream might not be our dream, and it might even be something which we find difficult to accept in our natural self.  Secondly, there is the need to nurture, mold and encourage the child in the pursuit of his dream, overcoming human laziness, lack of self-control and discouragement.

For most parents, this ability to accept and work the child does not come naturally.  However, we believe that all parents can learn to do them very well.

This blog is dedicated to our children’s destiny.  It is for all adults who have a role to play in helping a child in his journey towards his destiny.  It is for the child in the adult who is still searching for and working out his/her destiny.  As you read the stories, ideas and thoughts, may you find your way.


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