Give them roots and wings

He just fell asleep. He was tumbling around in his cot, babbling to himself, pulling at my skirt as I sat there beside him, pretending to sleep at times, and reading at others, ignoring him as much as I could, although peeping at him once in a while. 

He is such an angel, and he is really a typical boy.

On the first day we brought him back, he was just like a well-made doll. He was compliant, but non-responsive, except in one aspect. If we were to place him on the bed, the cot, the stroller, or the car-seat… he would bawl. He bawls at “Volume 10” and on and on, till we “rescue” him by carrying him. He bawls too, when either Edmund or I are out of sight.

He is quite different today, about 1 week after we brought him back. He no longer cries when placed on the bed, the cot, the stroller or the car-seat. He can play on his own, or with the boys. He is starting to “misbehave”. He plays with his food, gets grouchy when sleepy and demands for attention. He is starting to test boundaries, and push limits.

His changed behaviour does not faze me. I have parented three boys who have performed multiple tricks among the three of them. The key is – children know who really loves them, and who’s boss. Once that is settled, parenting is a breeze. (Ok, I admit, that’s just simplifying things a little…!)

Instead, I rejoice at seeing him become that way, because it shows that he is starting to feel secure and confident of our acceptance of him.

But the most wonderful thing about him is that he is now so happy – smiling, laughing and playful.

He started blossoming on the 3rd night he was with us. It was just after I fed him his dinner, and he started playing with me while sitting on the high chair. It was totally unexpected and amazing. It was really like seeing a wilting flower come alive right before my eyes (like what you would see in a Walt Disney cartoon).

His change over the next few days was not as dramatic. Slowly, he stopped crying when left alone. Slowly, he started to be more bold in his exploration of the house, and the way he plays (E.g. he would throw things, he would whine, and he would pretend to cry).

Recently, my friend told me about isotropic and anisotropic crystals. Isotropic crystals are single refractive, and anisotropic crystals are double refractive. This means that when light shines through an isotropic stone, the stone remains dark, but when light shines through an anisotropic stone, at certain angles, you can actually see a rainbow of colours.

Looking at my new baby, I realised that when I first brought him back, I could not tell who he really was. It was only when love and care was showered upon him, that we saw that he was really like an anisotropic crystal which can show such beauty.

Parenting honestly is a lot of hard work. We always talk about “moulding” the child, but I have learnt that we do not really “mould” children, because they really do not come to us as a lump of clay, but already shaped by God, much like a crystal. It is like polishing a diamond (although I understand that diamonds are really isotropic!), and shining the light at a correct angle so the crystal really shines.

Baby is only over one year old, so he was quite easy to socialise. In addition, I believe that he is, by nature, a happy child.  So God gave us a really good start to our new journey. It was really a pleasure seeing him transform under our hugs, kisses and gentle words and smiles.

Thank you God, for giving us the chance to care for this precious jewel. He is precious in Your sight.

(This is a fostering story. For more information, please go to Fostering in Singapore.)