Give them roots and wings

This is a difficult time to be a Christian in Singapore. Matthew 5:11 says,”Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”

We have always been taught that if we are true Christians, we would face persecution – the world will hate us, because the world hated Jesus (and crucified Him). But Christians have generally had it easy in Singapore. Yes, there would be people who would  snicker at our “holiness” and isolate us, but by and large, there is lots of respect for people of different religions. So I always wondered – am I a true disciple of Jesus? I am not facing persecution.

But now finally, Christians are being persecuted in Singapore, and while it had certainly taken me by surprise (pampered as I have been, being “free to practice my religion” in Singapore), it was something that God had promised (every preacher worth his weight would have said that once in his lifetime – God promised suffering). In a strange way, I feel at peace, because finally my experience squares with what the bible said on this matter. 🙂

One of the reasons I think the world hates Christians is because they think that Christians are judgemental. It is true to a large extent. You see, to become a Christian means you are suddenly born into God’s family – imagine how it feels like to suddenly be told that you are actually a prince, or a princess. Secondly, when you receive the Spirit of God, you would also receive revelation of the truth.  (It may sound spooky to those who are not christians, but really, it is not. It is just long series of “ah ha” moments all through our life, that’s all).

So just imagine someone who was previously severely short-sighted and who thought his world was nice and clean, given a pair of glasses and realising that his world is actually full of dirt.  Since human beings easily forget, this man would forget that not too long ago, he too was completely happy living in a dirty world, because he just did not know how dirty it was. But given his excitement about his new found sight, he now wishes the whole world would know it too, and starts trying to tell the truth to others – some of whom are not ready to listen, and who then feels judged.

Anyway, as a Christian, I understand how judgemental Christians can appear, and can be. As a Christian, I fear being judged by other Christians all the time.

When I share about my fostering, and encourage others to foster as well, some christians will tell me that they can’t do it unless they can give the child their full attention, e.g. take care of the child full time themselves. When I hear that, I wonder – am I a good foster parent, because I put him full time child care.

When I share about my struggles in caring for him, while caring for my other children, some christians will say “We need to take care of our own family well, then we can care for other people”. When I hear that, I wonder – am I a good parent, because my children are not yet perfect. Should I have waited?

When I have to skip some church events, or are unable to meet the needs of other people because of the foster child, I would wonder whether I am making the right sacrifice – is it more important to teach a class of 30 parents, or care for a single child? Should I invest my time into a few adults, or a single child?

Now I am facing a crisis in my fostering journey, and my worry is – what would my christian friends think? Would they ask me – “So did God want you to do it in the first place?” Would they say, “Have faith in God, just do it!” How do I help them understand? But maybe they are right, and I did wrong?

In case you misunderstand… I judge other people too, intentionally or unintentionally. The purpose of my post is not to point fingers. I am also not saying that I hate christians, or think they are hypocrites. I remain true to my God, and will continue to love His people.

I just want to say that life is extremely complicated. There are many layers to a situation. I do what I do because of many reasons, some of which are not even clear to myself, because “it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose” (Php 2:13). Surely I cannot expect anyone to understand, when I do not even understand it myself.

Similarly, everyone’s situation is extremely complicated too, and beyond anyone’s true understanding. But as social beings, we would interact with each other, and make comments. Some of these comments may appear judgemental when oftentimes, it is just concern, a reflection of what we are going through ourselves, or an innocent small-talk kind of remark.

Yes, this is a social commentary of sorts, about what is happening now in Singapore, with regards to the LGBT issue. This is an issue which is deep rooted, and close to many people’s hearts, including mine. But it is a big issue because it stems ultimately from either one, or both of these questions – do we love the society more than we love ourselves (from a non-religious angle), and do we believe that there is a God of design, or not (from the religious angle). Those are difficult questions to face. That is why I do not really like to interact with netters online about it because unless and until we reach the root of the issue, it appears multifaceted, and complicated, and we are often talking at cross-purposes.

But on a personal level, at this point of my journey, this post is really just me, being a psychologist/counsellor to myself… telling myself that whatever it is I do, God is my one-person audience. He understands, and that’s all that matters.